Wow! What a deep question. What guides my life? I have to look deep into myself to find the answer to that question because the first thing that comes to mind is my family. But should my family drive my life? What about work? Is being a teacher guiding me? Does pride or guilt make me do the things I do? What about God? Where does He fit in my life? The third chapter of this book tells me that there are five common points that drive people: 1) guilt, 2)resentment and anger, 3) fear, 4) materialism, and 5) the need for approval.
Ouch! Is there one positive attribute in that list? NO! Not one. If that is true, which one is leading me through life? i do not want any of them, but let's face it. If these are the most common, one must be my driving factor.
GUILT: This is where we are plagued by memories. Past regrets can haunt our present. So, let's take inventory. What do I regret? Well...if I have to be completely honest, I have been regretting my marriage. I have so many hard times. I have been married 19 years. My spouse has been a crack addict for many of those years. Where I had plans of being financially stable and having a high position in a company fell because we were always moving and running away. I have regretted saying "I do" for many years, but does that drive my decisions in life? Sometimes.
RESENTMENT and ANGER: Holding a grudge is something I try not to do because my mother was the queen and I never wanted to be like her. She had high blood pressure every day and no amount of medication could fix it. She ended up dying last August. I always told her to let the past stay in the past. She could not. now she is in the grave. Do I want to end up like her? Absolutely not!!! Even with my topsy-turvy marriage, I still forgive him and try to trust him. It is hard, but I do try.
FEAR: Am I afraid to try different things? Do I allow past experiences to stop me from being who I need to be? Some people have had traumatic experiences and because of this, they are afraid to do what their heart desires. I must admit, all though I am afraid at times, I try to walk straight ahead and face them. I have found that failures are easier to accept and my victories are oh so much sweeter.
MATERIALISM: Keeping up with the Jones' is a very tempting way of life. It is also the fastest way to the poor house. To be truthful, I do envy some people out there who can buy the car of their dreams, buy clothes whenever they need to, able to say yes to my children more often, but that has never been the case with me. I have never had enough money to be able to do this. I live paycheck to paycheck. I hate it with a passion. But circumstances always dictate the opposite.
Now not being able to buy the things I want is does not mean I am not materialistic. Being materialistic means I desire these things. Whether I get them or not is irrelevant. Harboring this desire is the same things. Having things, though will not make me happy. Nor will they help me to be prosperous. In fact, I will only be sadder and sadder because I never have enough.
THE NEED FOR APPROVAL: I expect my children to make straight A's. We give them money for every A they bring home because school is their job. I get paid to do my job. they get paid to do theirs. I am very proud of my children when they achieve this goal because I know how hard they work to receive these perfect grades. This system works fabulously for my children. However, I do not want them to make straight A's just for my approval. I do not want their sole drive to be because their parents provide the approval. I want them to be self-motivated to be the best that they can be. You can not please everyone all of the time, so it is time to learn to please ourselves.
I love to be noticed. When I sing, I want praise. But the praise should not be the motivator to sing again. This is my talent and I should love to sing whether or not I am complimented.
So what does this all mean? How does this affect me? Well the purpose of this chapter is to get me on the right track. The correct path is to follow God. To be directed by God and God alone. This is called a Purpose-Drive Life.
According to Rick Warren, there are five benefits to a purpose-driven life. Here is what I have learned from reading this section of the Chapter 3:
1) If I know my purpose, my life will have meaning. There are many distractions. One can go to a psychic, read a horoscope, read self-help books, etc. but none of these can take the place of truly knowing YOUR purpose not someone else's vision of your purpose. Only God can provide that to me. I have never gone to a psychic because I know the Bible tells me not to. But I have read self-help books. The only self-help book I need to read is The Bible. It is personal and applicable to my life and everyone else's.
2) Knowing my purpose simplifies my life. DUH! If I know my purpose I will not be running here and there to try different things that only side-track me from my main goal. The Bible reminds me that my days are numbered. I do not have enough time to do everything under the sun. God has appointed me with just enough time to do what he has called me to do. Doing anything else is a waste of time and will cause me not to fulfill my purpose. Wow! I am 45. I need to get going! Time is running short.
3) Focus in life comes with purpose. "Don't live carelessly, unthinkingly. Make sure you understand what the Master wants." (Ephesians 5:17) This means not to do it all. We should be very selective with our time. If the activity does not add to our purpose, we need to say "NO". Maybe people will think we are stingy, but we really need to be. This is our purpose, not theirs. While others will meander through life doing this and doing that, by being selective and focused, we will accomplish our main goal.
4) Knowing our purpose prepares me for eternity. that sounds great. I will not have to worry about life after death. According to Warren, we need to stop building our kingdom on earth. Hmmm seems to me I have heard that somewhere before. Where or where was it? Ah yes! The Bible! we should not build our kingdom on sinking sand. This world is definitely sinking sand. it will all pass away. But heaven is forever.
5) My focus will motivate me! Ahh just what I need motivation. Maybe that is why I always feel unmotivated. I am focusing on the wrong thing. If I focus on the right thing, I will be passionate about it. So I need to see what makes me excited? SINGING! I love to sing. I am now singing at church in the chorus. I sing in the local theater. I do need to get back to writing my own music. I had so much fun doing that several years ago. I have lost my focus and need to return.
So, what did I learn. Mostly that I have taken wrong turns. I need to return to the thing God has called me to do. MUSIC is my calling. What is yours? Find it, work it, and do not be distracted. If your friends think you are being selfish, well maybe you are. But it is for God's glory, not mine.